am I winning?

The struggle for control of the scene in improvisation is a terrific metaphor for life.

In an improv scene the characters, location, and content of the scene provide the frame within which the improvisers struggle for control. Improvisers apply various methodologies to 'win' in a scene or story - some use wit - the power of the mind... some use acting tricks like accents... a gift for rhyme, song, or a clever turn of phrase can steal the scene. For others, physical agility or clowning might be the strategies of choice. Strategies to gain control of the story - to win.

In a meeting, the people, time-frame and agenda are the frame... but the struggle can be the same. Grappling with an agenda - a group of people fight to 'win'. Individuals use various methodologies to gain control of the room or win others over to their perspective. Again, wit, gifts, and agility push and pull the attention of the room.

I'd like to stop trying to win. On stage and in life, I'd like to listen more than I talk. I'd like to use my gifts to gain understanding of the perspectives of my colleagues, rather than to get my point across. I'd like to give up control of the scene and the room - and go on somebody else's ride. Is it possible to play if I'm not trying to win?

It isn't that I want to lose. I'd like to shift the focus of my interactions to the quality of the relationship more often.